So Hey...This Is An Actual Thing.

Every once in a while, readers, something comes our way which the world has an absolutely dire need to know about. This is one such thing. Its a dating website...for cougars. Just in case the name "cougarlife.com" didn't spell that out for you.

We've discussed online dating before, however this ad brought to mind all the other skeevy, niche-market sites floating around out there. One might say, "but wait, a dating website for older women isn't such a sketchy thing," and you'd be right. If they didn't present it in the way that they do.

The commercial, with its catchy jingle that we just know will be stuck in your head for days (you're welcome), looks almost like something you'd see in the wee hours of the morning right after those ads so generously informing you of the "hot singles" waiting to talk to you on the big plastic phone you totally still have.

Cougarlife.com also makes sure to tell us they were voted "the wildest online dating site." Oh really. By who, the scruffy deviant burning up his keyboard mid-commercial? They're saying "come here for sex with older women," basically. The best part? The cheesy cougar snarl sound effect right at the end.

And this is just one tiny mote of skeez in the storm that is the internet. Among the sleaziest in the online dating realm are websites that help people cheat on their spouses/significant others/whatever you'd like to call them. And no, we're not going to name or link you to any of them; they deserve no traffic. Our take on that particular subject? If you're cheating on whoever it is that you're with, sack up and end the relationship. If you're a lady, take that metaphorically.

But we digress. Check the cougarlife ad out. Listen to the jingle. Sing the jingle at work and make people look at you funny. Just don't be surprised if you join and get bombarded with requests from a 500-pound cat lady, because no, they're not all as hot as the ones in the commercial. Duh.

P.S. please pay no attention to the weird man in his underwear after the cougarlife.com ad ends. We're pretty sure someone recorded this on their television while watching Comedy Central, and it was the only good version of this commercial we could find. Carry on.

Aggression...In Its Most Pretentious Form.

Now, readers, we've always had a grudge against those who would use the egregious power of a luxury car like, say, a Mercedes or an Audi, to drive like a flaming douchebag. That's why the new Acura ad had us genuinely interested...until the end. When they basically endorsed that kind of behavior.

The cello music in the background (apparently an original score just for the commercial), the dark color palette, and the effects used were all pretty unique. They even had a good basic idea. Everything flows quite smoothly until the announcer starts talking: "It works with cars. It works with people. Acura; aggression in its most refined form."

On the surface this may not seem like an endorsement of douche-like behavior. But look just a little closer. Aggression. What crowd are they marketing that idea to? The people who can afford an Acura, meaning upper-middle to upper class. Probably predominantly connected to the field of business in some way. The people selling this car are pairing the ideals of wealth and luxury with aggression, and thereby attaching to it a positive connotation.

Granted, this happens on a very subconscious level, but neither is it an accident that the voiceover is worded in that way. It speaks to the fact that a cutthroat demeanor is still seemingly prized as the trait of a successful person as conventionally defined in mainstream American culture. In turn, people in that echelon of society, thinking it a mark of status, begin to act in a selfish, almost anti-social way. These same people then buy luxury cars, like Acuras, and cut us off on the 405. See? It all comes full circle.