Happy Pills.

Readers, the irresponsibility of supplement marketing never ceases to amaze us. For lo and behold, what should we come across while watching Comedy Central at the not-that-late hour of 11p.m.-ish than a shady advertisement for the world's ten millionth miracle "happy pill," Welltabs.

The middle-aged and quite motherly looking spokeswoman tells you that this little supplement will solve all your problems. That crappy mood you're always in. That physical weakness you've been feeling. The constant anxiety. Your long-since-derailed marriage. Hell, it'll even bring your dead cat Snookums back to life, without all the "Pet Cemetery" side effects. Oh, and none of these claims have been, or are required to be, evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. But whatever, right? Pseudo-mom's never steered you wrong before.

Turns out that according to WebMD, the active ingredient in Welltabs, Withania Somnifera, is a derivative of the Ashwagandha root, none of the effects of which have ever been proven definitively. It's listed as "containing chemicals that MIGHT calm the brain, reduce swelling, lower blood pressure, and alter the immune system (our emphasis on the word 'might')."

It would appear to us that Welltabs are (spoiler alert, lulz) a glorified placebo. One made all the more potent by the fact that it may actually have some physical effect. There is no miracle pill to cure all of life's problems. If you're in a sh*t mood all the time, chances are it may have something to do with your terrible job, terrible house, and the fact that you never quite finished that Associate's Degree.

Would you like to have more energy readers? Exercise. Better mood? Exercise again. Wanna not be fat? Change your diet. You see where we're going here. By and large, society would have you believe that buying some quick-fix product will solve every problem you have, even the ones you didn't know you had until they told you. This is essentially offering a band-aid for a compound fracture, but they could care less as long as you give them your money. Absolutely repugnant.