1-800-DEBT-MART.

We know that's an eight-digit phone number, shut up.

Hey readers! We thought we'd finally come out of hiding to talk to y'all about something pretty important that's been at the back of our minds constantly of late. It also coincides quite nicely with the current economical state of affairs here in the U.S.of A.

That is to say, biggity brokeness.

Unless you're some kind of protozoa living on the bottom of the ocean, you've undoubtedly heard that our country's credit rating has been lowered from triple A awesome to double A Plus not-as-great. This precipitated 500-point drops in the DOW, mass riots, looting, and goat-sacrificing in the streets as people babbled frantic prayers to the Economy. Several decades worth of anecdotal evidence has already proven that Economy is a cold, aloof God however, so their prayers went unheard and unanswered, and the streets ran red with madness.

Oh, that didn't happen? Right, the media just made it seem as if that happened. As per usual. Despite the lack of goat sacrifices though, this is still the latest and most crippling symptom of the flawed political and economical system we live with. People are talking about a "double-dip" recession. We didn't know "recession" was a flavor of ice cream, but that's neither here nor there.

"Good lord, this is already as long as the last post we read, and we only read that because we felt sorry for you. Get to the point." We will, you don't have to be a dick about it. What this recent economic sh*tstorm has made us notice is all the "1-800-LOAN-MART" commercials and their ilk plaguing our television and radio.

Furniture stores and places like Rent-A-Center have commercials airing with lines like, "No credit? No problem!" Car dealerships continue to offer financing to people with horrible credit and things like DUIs on their records. Cash advance places have you put up your car as collateral, meaning they can take your means of transportation if you cannot pay the loan back which, let's be honest, you won't be able to if you're using a cash advance service. This type of irresponsible "you won't REALLY have to pay for it" marketing and services are helping absolutely no one. In fact, they make the problem worse.

It was people trying to live beyond their means in the housing market that were a large part of the 2008 market collapse, and people are still being foreclosed on by their banks three years later. Unemployment has skyrocketed. Congress are acting like a day care center full of petulant brats instead of civil servants. Something needs to change. As a country, we need to stop living beyond our means to achieve an American dream that doesn't really exist for a large group of the population and was nebulously defined to begin with. We can tell you how. All you have to do is buy our book and give us all your money.