A nuclear bomb of schmaltz. That is the only way we can begin to describe the newest commercials Old Navy has begun airing on television screens across America. One of them has the fictional girl-group stars of the ad singing a little ditty called, "Welcome To The Ankle Show." The other features a Kim Kardashian look-alike singing a song about being, "super c-u-t-e," whatever she may be doing. We're not kidding.
"The ankle show" is by far the more ridiculous of the two. The entire 30-second song is a failed attempt to sexify the ankle. We'd like to ask the people at Old Navy: have you looked closely at an ankle? Its the least sexy part of the leg. Perhaps of the entire body. Its weird. Its knobby. Its not provocative at all, unless the definition of the word has reverted to what it was in the 17th century. "I say, Wentworth, that willful harridan is running around with exposed ankles! Good lord, get the constable post-haste!"
There's campy done right, and then there's this. No one reined it in, and now its out of control and kicking people in the metaphorical head. With metaphorical, campy-ass, horseshoed hooves.
We struggle to comprehend why some companies like to make such corniness their standard. Sure, it sticks in the memory, but if it were up to us, we'd rather be remembered for wit or poignancy in advertising than boring into people's minds with unbelievable, corny corn. Little, yellow, evil kernels of it. Its worse than candy corn.
In sum, these spots are all flash and no substance. Garishly so. Oh, and that DJ in the "ankle show" commercial looks like a 5th Element reject. Think about that.
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